F1 2012 The Game Mac: Timeline


This is my new home.

This is what happened when I got my copy of F1 2012.

Day 1: Finished downloading from Mac App Store by midnight. Took quite a lot of time. Spent all day long watching clips of the real season and ridiculing drivers. Of course I can drive better than them. It's a piece of cake. Pftt.

Day 2: (continued from Day 1 midnight) Fired up the game, and straight into Young Drivers Test. Turns out it's quite hard to drive a Formula 1 car with a keyboard. No wonder real drivers use a steering wheel. Did well in the Test, and got job with Force India. Got bored of career, and went online. Got pwned in every race. Then became extremely angry and smashed into race leader while getting lapped. That b****** recovered and finished the race in P1. I get DNF. Went to sleep with angry and disturbing thoughts of disappointment.
Day 3: Hooked up my PSP as a controller. Turns out you never engage 100% throttle with the keyboard. Why Codemasters? WHY? Suddenly became quite good at the game. Resumed career mode, and won 3 times in a row. Went online and suddenly started leading races and winning them. I feel like a world champion. Lots of confidence, and now I'm ready for the big one. Switching off brake assist. Holy shit, the car is undrivable. Why do the brakes have no effect whatsoever? Went online, and switched off ABS as well. Suddenly brakes become better. A split-second later, front wheels lock up and I drive into the race leader into the very first corner and lose my front wing. Race leader gets totalled. HAHA. I quickly turn brake assist back on again. I don't have the skillz yet. Went to bed happy with my win record.

This made my day. I won three times in a row with an HRT. In Monaco.

Day 4: On an online pwing spree with my PSP controller. Specially in the wet. Or in Monaco. I try to set a good time around Monza with an HRT with no assists. Such a rush. I clock 1:31.517. Is it any good? Online buddy Avinzon clocked a 1:26 with a McLaren. Seems good in comparison I'd say. Went online again, and this time starting pwing everyone with an HRT. Now I'm officially the fastest Indian in the world. Well, in the world of Mac gamers. Mac gamers who play F1 2012. But for God's sake, so many PENALTIES! WHY CODEMASTERS, WHY. Honestly I might as well drag Codemasters to court to prove that I was hit. Not the other way around. As soon as I get hit and spin off the track, I get blamed for the collision. And the ten second penalty is just salt on the wounds. So I need not only catch up, but pull a 10-second lead as well. For god's sake Codemasters, get your Stewards act together.

Day 5: Now I am officially addicted. Someone should open gaming rehabs. It is properly getting out of hand. Now I am actually studying the track, to gain the additional tenth or two. And my exams are a few weeks from now. I simply cannot get enough of online gaming. But Codemasters penalty system and n00bs ruin many a good race. I am going to start an online petition for Codemasters to include a GP2 series in F1 2013 to keep n00bs away. Also, the person who decides my strategy and tyre choice should be fired. Why cannot I be team principle? Add manager mode to the F1 2013 to-do list, Codemasters.

Day 10: Getting ultra confident of my racing skills, as I have mastered the art of braking without ABS. I start sweating halfway through the race even though it's like 15˚C in my room because of all the concentration. Lap times begin to tumble and now I'm pretty sure Sebastian Vettel will eat dust once I become a real Formula 1 driver. I'm already rehearsing my Kimi Raikkonen-esq statements to troll the media. And updating my shopping list once I get all the sponsorship money. And choosing which supermodel I want as my future girlfriend. Lot of them are married already. It's getting sort of hard choosing one. The world definitely needs more supermodels, no question about it. Trust me. I've done my research.

Day 11: Using the Force(which I learnt after playing Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic), I have now stopped my self from playing the game. No more racing till my exams get over. I have controlled myself.

Day 11(at night): I'm in the lead in a Lotus, and a McLaren is on my tail in Valencia, and he HITS ME from behind. FOR F****'s SAKE, WHY DO I GET THE PENALTY FOR THAT? AAARGGGGHHHH!! Writing hate mail to Codemasters now. Will take some time.

Day 12: This time I really stopped myself from playing. The Force is strong with me.

Day 23: Suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Every time I go cycling, I am officially racing. Using my skillz, I draft behind cars and over take them under braking. Lance Armstrong can eat my dust. My superior gear changing skillz shine at the start(from traffic lights). I AM THE GOD OF RACING.

Day 24: Now tyre wear is drilling into my head after I noticed wear on my bicycles treads. Must save my tyres. I should switch to Mediums next time I pit.

Day 25: I have officially lost my mind. And I'm failing my exams as well.

This is how I look at life.

I'm waiting on 5 simple red lights.

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